therapists

Last night Mary called still in her manic mood. Although this time I can understand why she would be upset. (I am giving up all pretense of hiding people's names so from now on I will just use them instead of DIL and grandson, etc.) The therapist told her all of my misgivings and how I didn't believe that Terry or David would push Mary. So, Mary is very upset. I couldn't sleep last night worried about what she was doing to Michael or the kids. Michael is also upset with me. He blames all of us for the problems he is having with Mary.

At least I got to talk with Michael. I tried reminding him that we are still the same people we've always been. We are not bothering or hurting Mary - she is the one on the war path. His Dad did not become an abuser of women nor has David. I kept asking Michael to remember what she has done to him - how her behavior affects he and his children. He can't see anything. I guess the best description is he can't see the forest for the trees. He can't see out of the hole he is in.

Michael thinks that I want them to divorce. I truly don't want them to divorce - if he still loves her. Well, then he needs to learn how to help her. If he learns about her illness he can help her manage it. He can depend on the rest of us to be there to help in anyway. Instead they sit there in her delirium. I mean, that is a choice they can make for themselves; although it tears my heart to think of my son living like this but the kids! They shouldn't have to grow up in a house like this. Always in fear, hiding in their bedroom, having to listen to her rantings when Michael is not there and sometimes even when he is there. Michael is pretty good about shutting down and ignorning everything around him. How many times has Chris had to listen to her pouring out her soul?

I don't know how to go about reporting this 'therapist'. Her name is: Helen Nebel and she works for Comprehensive Mental Health Services in Independence. The phone number is 816/254-3652. I've done the google search and tried to figure out what the governing authority is but the truth is I don't even know what her creditionals are. So I have to wait until the office opens up to find out if she is a licensed counselor or whatever she may be. Then I can see what route I need to take.

I told her the things I did so that she could know that a good part of Christians problems are probably coming from his mother. She has the same problems he has - and more. I don't want them medicating him when he probably just needs intervention with his mother. If we can get her to a calm thinking mode then Christians problems will soon calm down as well.

How can a therapist not know that a child will say anything to protect his mother?!? The therapist actually said that she can tell when Christian is lying. Really! If this were the case then she could make a lot of money for herself. That's quite a talent. Oh don't get me wrong. Some of his lies are easy to see and they are just his active imagination. I'm not talking about those. I'm talking about experiencing terror. Seeing your mother in a rage and grown adults standing around shocked by her behavior. Having those adults flee and leave you behind with the very thing that was terrorizing them! We have to abandon those kids and leave them behind with a raging mother. Chris has to do and say what he can just to survive.

I was hoping the therapist would help. Instead she just informed the mother what I had said. Now even I have been banned from helping my grandchildren. They are really alone in that household of hell.

In my house they had quiet. No one was ranting and raving, screaming and crying. The boys could be boys. They could play outside in the courtyard or in the street with the other kids. They could grab books off the shelves of the bookcase and curl up in their chairs or on their grandmother. They could just relax and be little boys.