so many

I was looking through some posts and realized that there were a few things I needed to say.

1st - I'm searching. I'm on a journey. I don't know the right answers. I don't know the right questions. When I write something, if you read it and you have a question, and I'm still around to discuss it with you - please talk with me.

What I write is me putting it in black and white so that I can stand back and see what my thoughts were. I don't know if what I'm writing is correct. What I'm talking about here is when I speak of God. I'm new. I'm only 52. I've only recently begun to really delve into the Bible and to fill my mind with these higher things. I don't know the answers.

The reason I bring this up is, as an example, the second coming. I don't know my feelings on that. Of course, my feelings don't matter when it comes to the second coming of Jesus. His coming certainly doesn't revolve around my belief or disbelief but what I mean is that there are some people who say the signs are everywhere that His return in imminent and I'm not sure that they are discerning what is written any more correctly than I am. AND, I'm not sure that it matters what we think. If Jesus returns like the fundamentalists say He will do then there isn't anything any of us can do. I mean, I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior. It is only through Him that we can have everlasting life. If we die before He returns, or if we are transformed as He returns, what we believe regarding His return doesn't affect anything - as long as we have faith in our Lord. If I'm wrong on this someone please tell me!

However I think it DOES matter how we live and it DOES matter how we believe and who we place our faith in.

The reason I want to clarify that statement is so that you'll know what I think is important.

I'm confused about our sins and our lives and what will happen when we die.

I know Jesus took on our sin and won when He died and rose again. Now we can stand at the seat of judgement and Jesus will say that He knows us and that we are His and we will have everlasting life through Him.

Where I get confused is all the ways we can still mess up AND how so many people consider themselves Christian but don't change their lives in anyway.

I grew up thinking that if we confess that Jesus is our Lord and Savior and repent and be baptized that we are saved.

Now I'm thinking that this is still true but there is more to it than that. Consider the 'lukewarm' scripture where He says 'He will spew us out of his mouth'. OR consider the 'I never knew you statement'. These are scary things. Very scary.

King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.
King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

The other thing that confuses me is how people say God is love and Jesus was kind and non-judgmental. Kind of like the hippies when I was growing up. I'm afraid everyone is being mislead.

One of the preachers I listen to said that Jesus is the one who speaks of hell. Jesus is the one who speaks of judgement. Jesus will be our judge. Jesus said that he is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.

King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.

http://bible.org/article/what-bible-says-about-hell

I just found this resource:
http://www.oneplace.com/ministries/thru-the-bible-with-j-vernon-mcgee/read/articles/
I love how Dr. McGee speaks so plainly.

God has blessed me with faith. I know that He is just as surely as I know that I am. He is as real to me as you are. I am blessed and comforted by the gift of faith.

One of my sins is that I don't place Him in my life as I should. He is our creator. He is our judge. He is GOD! Yet I talk with Him like I talk with anyone else. I don't think that is right. He is due all the honor and none of this baseness.

I am getting the feeling that my sins are forgiven. All of our sins are forgiven. After all God knows us. We can't escape from what we are. God sent his Son to redeem us - to pay for our sins so that we could be with Him.

However, I still ask for forgiveness and my heart hurts when I realize what I've done - am doing. I feel that sin puts a block between me and Christ. Christ doesn't put the block there and He doesn't see it - but I do. Sin stops us in our relationship - at least we think it does but it doesn't. Jesus already won that battle. But sin still hurts. When I think of my sins being placed upon Christ I die inside. My blackness, my grime shouldn't be anywhere near Him.

Now comes the part where people get all woozy. Our lives. Where I live we are so full of gifts. We don't worry about food or water or clothes or shelter or even boredom. We are the rich man in the Bible. That's what I think people don't get. I didn't get it as a child. We are the rich man. Read about that in the Bible!

So what do I do with my life - my rich life? What do I do with the salary from my job? The job God gave me? The money God gave me? The life God gave me?

What started me really thinking about this was on my plane trip to Vegas. I was reading the Bible on my phone. (See - rich!) I got to this verse about turning the other cheek. I'm thinking to myself. I don't think I could do that. Someone hitting HURTS. I don't see me turning the other side of my face to the person and allowing them to hit me again.

Matthew 5:39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.40 And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.41 And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain.42 Give to him that asketh thee, and from him that would borrow of thee turn not thou away.43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy.44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

Give to him that asketh . . . I live in an area where if you stop at the gas station they will walk up to you and ask you to give them gas as well. They have no problem begging, no qualms about it at all. It makes my blood boil to even think about it.

I sat there on that plane and tried to worm my way out of this scripture (Give to him that asketh). You know, put a different spin on it. I tried saying that it was meant for a different audience or that someone else wrote it and then I realized that even on my phone the letters were in red. We all know what that means. Words of Christ. How in the world can I worm my way out of these words? I can't. My Savior spoke those words. Someone else reminded me that it isn't just the words in red but ALL of the words were breathed by God.

Argh.

Then the little voice reminded me that my money isn't my money. My job was given to me by God. My life was given to me by God. I mean, think about it. Why wasn't I born in a small village in Africa and starving? I easily could have been. No, instead I am rich and in America. I have God given talents and God given blessings. What am I doing with God's blessings?

Okay, now lets get back to what happens when I'm standing in front of God. Do I really want to stand there and say well, I watched a lot of TV?