Perhaps I'm bi-polar. I have extreme highs, full of silliness, and pretty darn low low's (at least it feels like it to me). I tend to fight the lows, and ignore them with all my might, but this one is hanging in there pretty darn tight.
It's probably 'cos it is that time of year when Mom died and Bobby died . . . it's hard to get past losing a mother and a brother even if it has been decades that they've been gone.
Do have some good news though. I have had some insight though that I haven't shared yet. As a Christian I have eternal life. It started the moment that I accepted Jesus as my Savior. So, I will die, but it will just be a stage in my life, just like being a teenager. That's kind of exciting and maybe why I don't see dying as such a bad thing. It's like the next stage, like traveling to a new destination, kinda scary but kinda exciting. But don't get me wrong. I'm not ready to go yet. I kind of like it here with my peeps. (See, I can fight the depression.)
But seriously, between it being that time of the year and work and family and friends . . . I'm frickin' depressed. But I'm not going to list the reasons for my depression (other than missing some people. no one can blame me for that.)
Mainly I'm writing to say that the journal is evolving. I've decided that since I can't express myself intelligently, and since I don't want to be a whiny baby, that I'm going to turn this blog into a prayer journal!
You see, my memory is T E R R I B L E (and I'm not complaining just stating a fact) and I hate it when I can't remember what I wanted to talk with Jesus about. AND, a very good friend reminded me that prayer journals are extremely cool because you can see how your prayers are answered! L O V E it!!!! D O I N G it!
And so it begins!
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