I wasn't my normal self because I was hurting with another episode of diverticulitis, so my energy level was down. Normally Lori brings it right up because she is so full of energy!
This lunch was . . . I don't have a description for it because it was . . . I don't have words.
First off, the bombshell:
Lori didn't know I was a Christian.
Second person to tell me that. First one was my daughter.
So, now you know why I am knocked off balance.
I've always thought I was a Christian. Was I deceiving myself?!?
Charlotte is so sweet and such an encourager. She said you were just a Christian in training all those years. I love her.
But the fact is that 50 some years of my life were wasted. My children weren't raised in the church all because I fell for the culture we live in and I didn't stick to my beliefs.
I was just reading a post by Billy Graham and he, well, I'm just going to copy part of what he wrote here:
"Before my conversion on November 1, 1934, which I tell of in the book, I always thought myself a Christian. It wasn't until I was confronted and convicted of my sin that I realized that Christ makes a difference in the lives of those who not only claim his name but obey his Word. If there is no change in a person's life, he or she must question whether or not they possess the salvation that the gospel proclaims. Many who go to church have not had a life-changing transformation in Christ. Those outside the church expect followers of Christ to live differently," http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2013/october-web-only/billy-graham-interview-my-hope-easy-believism.html
What Billy Graham wrote is pretty much exactly what happened to me. Cari Green talked to me about the 10 Commandments. She started reading them to me one at a time and after each she asked me if I had done that. I rolled my eyes at her each time because I KNEW that I was a sinner - at least that is what I told myself. It took a few weeks but what she put me through really cut through the bologna in my mind, or in my heart or spirit or soul . . . I wasn't repentant. I owned that I was bad and didn't do anything more than lip service towards that sin, other than a perfunctory, I'm sorry, please forgive me. What Cari did was illuminate my unrepentance and push me towards Him. I wanted to see what else I was missing. The only way to figure that out was to go to the Bible and to find likeminded people and to submerse myself in Him so that I could see where I was.
We have to see that we are sinners and that we need Jesus.
Billy Graham goes on to write in this same article:
"In the New Testament, when people heard the truth Jesus taught and received his glorious gift of forgiveness and hope for eternal life in Heaven, others who observed the change in their lives called them Christians—Christ followers (Acts 11:26). Just as Jesus came willingly to rescue mankind from sin, I willingly serve him and seek to glorify him with my life because I am a child of the King. Being called a Christian should identify us with the demands Christ makes on those who belong to him. He tells us to count the cost of following him.
My preaching is that of an evangelist and I wholeheartedly believe in the fundamental teaching of the Holy Scriptures. This is the foundation of my book. My hope is that people will read it. My desire is that readers will comprehend the privilege and responsibility of living the Christian life. When Jesus becomes our Master we set aside our way and walk his way. It is not always easy but enormously productive and challenging, because those who follow him become shining lights in a very dark world. This is why the Christian has hope. The reason I have hope for the world is because Christ died for the whole world and is calling the lost and weary to come to him. Jesus said he had "come to seek and to save that which was lost" (Luke 19:10)."
I want to copy this part again:
"My desire is that readers will comprehend the privilege and responsibility of living the Christian life. When Jesus becomes our Master we set aside our way and walk his way."
People didn't know I was a Christian because I didn't act differently. I don't need to say that I'm a Christian. My life should speak this fact.
Now, I post a lot on Facebook and I blog - hey, I'm using the tools at hand to get the word out. I'm not bragging - I'm testifying! People need to see all of this information. They aren't going to come across it thru the normal channels - that's for sure.
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