what to do?

What do I do? 

Go to college and become a Deaconess? I so want to do this. But does God ever want us to go into debt? College is so very expensive. Why do I want to become a Deaconess? Is it the label? What can I do as a Deaconess that I can’t as a regular pew sitting Christian? One thing I wouldn’t be able to do is to advance the office of Deaconess. Right now it is pretty dormant.

Just yesterday I found out that I have been assigned the track at work as a Designer. To accomplish this I must take a course through one of our high level engineers. This class is full of engineers and others and takes a lot of time outside of class and to be very honest – I don’t think I have the gray matter to pass this class. If I am able to assimilate all the knowledge then it means that I can have a very lucrative career. Then my money can be used to help others. After all, even if I become a Deaconess I still have to work. I’ll especially have to continue to work to pay for my school loans.

To do both of these at the same time as I continue to live a very full life full of grandchildren and other loves . . . I honestly don’t think I can do both sets of classwork.

All of these sayings keep wandering through my mind . . . bloom where you are planted,

Listening to Dr. McGee talk on Genesis 47-48 about Jacob and what he says about his life. This makes me wonder if I should sit down tonight and think about me looking back on my life. Which choice(s) will I think I should have made in regard to my career at this age?