life

I woke up this morning from a dream where everyone I met was named Wyatt. There were four guys standing in a line facing me and their names were Wyatt. When I realized that everyone was named Wyatt I woke up and started to pray for Wyatt.

I worry so much for those boys. Their mother is unstable. I know everyone is unstable when they are going through a divorce but she obviously is bi-polar and suffers from borderline personality disorder among other things I still remember Wyatt calling me and asking me to make it stop. I could hear Mary in the background ranting and raving but I couldn't understand what she was saying. I could hear her voice go in and out like she was walking around in a circle. Then, Wyatt's bruises and his broken wrist . . . I just don't trust her. I have asked Michael over and over and over to take him. To get full custody so that Wy could have a stable quiet home so he could learn. If Wyatt was here he would be close to family instead of all alone with her. I know he doesn't want to leave Chris alone, and neither do I but Chris is older and can get away if he needs. Mary was posting things on Facebook about how she has sex, etc., and I worry for their safety. She posts publicly even though she knows full well how to limit her posts. It isn't just the safety issue. Her sons will be teased mercilessly when their friends see what their mother is posting.

I pray for their protection over and over and over.

I pray that God heals Michael and that He heals Mary. I ask that He protects those boys.

On a whole other issue: I just enrolled for summer semester. Psy, Bible Survey, English 102 (which I fear) and Issues with Christian Counseling . . . I AM crazy.

It is snowing. It has been snowing all day. A nice snow, if there ever was such a thing. I was supposed to go and do my volunteer thing but I called and said I just couldn't because of the roads. Which means I had more time to get some school work done!

I have gotten a whole lot done with school. That's a huge relief. I took a English competency test and didn't do so well which didn't shock me. My brain has pretty much gelled into mush BUT I am hoping that all of these classes will help build gray matter so that I can think again.

Friday night I met Lindsay and her family at Olive Garden so we could celebrate Ky's birthday. I got to hold Callie and sit by Kyler and Lindsay and Craig were able to actually talk to each other. It's always nice to watch a husband and wife talk.

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I sat down and had a talk with Richard. I told him that he needs to pay what we agreed for rent. He's only paying half and even that is hit and miss. I asked him if he could take over cleaning because I just don't want to mess with it even a little. I want to go to church, work, handle school work and visit with my family. I do wish I could afford to live in a hotel. I just don't want to mess with the upkeep of a house. 

Luke asked me again what my relationship was with Richard. I would feel better if Richard didn't live with me as far as my reputation goes but I do like him here for safety reasons and for maintenance reasons. Plus we really are the perfect roommates because we rarely see each other and we are nice enough to each other. We never fight or make demands on the other person. This isn't a sexual relationship but I understand how others might wonder if it could be - but it just isn't.

Beth had her knee replaced. She was doing so well right after surgery but now she complains of pain and depression. I worry so much for her. I know her heart is broken. I pray prayers of comfort and strength for her and I try to bother her as much as I think she'll allow. We are planning on a get away in March that we are both looking forward to.

Work, well, work is wonderful. I just got a new computer there because mine kept dying. I have a hard time focusing at work and I pray that God would give me focus because my mind is just about everywhere but work. I have a couple of friends who are struggling and between work, church, school and my family, my mind is everywhere BUT where I need it to be. I turned down a designing class and I worry that I will be passed over for promotion BUT then I remember how many times I've been passed over already and this fear just barely makes a blip. Still, I know I shouldn't have asked out of the class. I just knew it was too much to take on right now.

Knees, toes and muscles spasms keep bringing my mind back to my body. My body is one area that I know I should focus more on; however, right now I'm just too busy focusing on other things like my mind and my spirit.

One of the tests I took today was about how adults learn. One of the stages was "readiness to learn - learning must be relevant and is often best conducted when the learner is in a transitional stage regarding her social role". When I had to put this stage into my own words I realized as I was writing about my own transitional stage. I'm not going to school to get a better paying job or a promotion. I'm going to school so that I can help others and so that I can help maintain the traditional church. Once I wrote that I smiled and my heart was warm.

I'm going to school so that I can help others and so that I can help maintain the traditional church!

Life is good. I love my family and I'm amazed at how much the Holy Spirit is revealing and changing.

I wish my family would think love Jesus and trust Him.