promoted schamoted

I just completed a search for: why am I continually passed over for promotion.

Yes, it is humiliating and true. My company keeps promoting people and they do not promote me. The first time I asked why I was passed over for Designer-In-Training I was told it was because there are lots of people who have been here longer than you. We need to promote them first. The next year when promotions came around there were about 8 people promoted and they were all hired after I was hired. So I asked again. My manager just laughed and said that he hadn't said that. I once again told him that I was very interested in becoming a Designer and he assured me that this would not be a problem. We have a scale of 1 to 5. I got two 5's on my review. I had been told that very few people ever get a 5 so I was shocked that I received them. I was hopeful that this meant that I would get promoted. I didn't. This year I didn't get any 5's but I was told that my name had been mentioned for DIT. Well, Friday I saw the names of the people they were congratulating and my name wasn't on the list AGAIN.

I have to tell you that I'm struggling. I'm finding it hard to meet people and look them in their eyes. I have to tell you that I don't like the bitterness that keeps bubbling up inside me. I don't like these feelings at all.

I'm famous for saying it is because I don't have a penis. Not very Christian-like I know. I haven't had a penis all of my life.  I say it jokingly but I also feel that it is true. I am not considered because I'm female. Between the lack of a penis and the lack of schmoozing . . . I guess I'm not promotion material.

Truth be told I haven't gotten promotions at any time in my life. Well that's not completely true. I have been 1st chair trombone in Jr. High and I have been managers and I have changed positions. It must have been a promotion to go from secretary to draftsman. I know I make more money as a draftsman. But I don't get the promotions. The thing is I don't know why they pass me over. By 'they' I mean every single person I've ever worked for.

This year I drew substations in 3D. I took it upon myself to figure out how it must be done with an eye on knowing that I would be showing others how best to handle 3D. We did several of them. I know my engineer gave me rave reviews.

I don't know why I'm passed over. I do know it hurts.

When I tell myself it is better this way. At least I don't have the pressure of a whole substation on my shoulders. I don't know if it is the old fox and grape scenario. That I'm saying it just to make myself feel better?

I try consoling myself by saying this obviously isn't the right path - not the path God wants me on. Now I can focus on my postings on blogs and Facebook for the church and my witness. After all this is far more important than a title and designing substations.

I really don't know the answer as to why I can't get promoted but I do know that I don't want to become bitter. I have a job that pays well. One that I wake up and I'm happy to go to. I can't let my bruised pride ruin my attitude.

I need prayer. I need to stay in prayer and in His Word. I need to remember what is really important here.

http://www.businessweek.com/managing/content/jul2009/ca2009077_299889.htm

I'm keeping this in my little blog to show that I'm still a work in progress. There is no real reason for me to be upset or hurt or any other negative thing. I love what I do. I love the people I work with. I love that I have energy and time to do what I really love and that is reading and learning and praying. I just wish I had more people to talk with about His Word. And I am very thankful to all of those who I can. God is good and I can't get over how many ways He shows His love for us.