and then

As I'm listening to this sermon I remember something that happened to me while my brother lay in the hospital dying. He kept saying over and over, "please forgive me".  I kept saying you are a wonderful brother, a wonderful uncle, a great friend . . . you are a good person. Finally I stopped because it wasn't soothing him at all. He drifted in and out but the only words he kept repeating were, "forgive me". Out of the blue, with no thought from me, I felt the words come out of my mouth, "You are forgiven." Joey immediately became peaceful and he didn't say anything again. I was shaken to my very core. You have to understand I was dumbfounded. I had not even thought to say that. I know for a fact that I did not say it. I mean, I said it but it wasn't me.

There was another time something like that happened. Across from my Aunt Eva's house there is this little church and graveyard. It's a very old church that no one has used in decades but most of the stuff was still there. I was standing at the pulpit while my brothers were playing outside and I heard someone tell me that this is what you are to do. 

I ran out of that church so very fast. I did not go back for a very very long time.

So, back to this sermon. He is saying that Paul was not a good speaker, he was unimpressive in appearance, he was simple and not steeped in the wisdom of the time . . . all of the same things I say over and over. Well, I add the part about not liking people very much.