Today I went with Lindsay and Craig to a Gun Show - my first (I think). Actually bought a gun. Lindsay said that she and Michael wanted to go in one for me. It is a .380.
After the gun show we went to Cabela's and while we were in the parking lot a lady overheard me say that I was tired of being crippled. She asked if she could pray for me. I said of course. Lindsay and Craig were very well behaved at the time but they were laughing. They continued to laugh throughout the day and kept asking if my knees felt better. I expected their laughter so I wasn't too shocked by it but what does sadden me is how something good and kind is shocking and an object of derision.
Also, Lindsay said something along the lines about how I was also one of those people. I told her I wasn't because I didn't have that much courage but she then went on to say that this is why most people hide my posts on Facebook. I have complete faith that most people do ignore my posts and that only hurts my feelings a little bit because it is to be expected. I hope they get a little knowledge about God. Hopefully a little seed is spread out for them to pick and choose from.
Truthfully though I do want to run away and be with people who do see what I see and feel how I feel. By that I mean people who know and love God's word. I am tired of being in a place where it is okay to kill babies and belittle people. I am tired of arrogance and hatefulness. The world is upside down and ugly and I don't like it very much at all. Which does not mean that I want to die. It does mean that I do want Jesus to come back and take away all the disease and hatefulness.
Last night I messed up. Luke was asking about religion and for some reason I was struck mute. I was trying to listen and I was trying to think of the best way to answer and nothing came out at all. Instead the answer he heard was how some people believe in Jesus and other people believe in other things. Epic Fail - those are the only words I hear in my head now.
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