He broke the bonds. The golden handcuffs. He is going to work at a place where he can come and go as he pleases. He can wear what he wants. There are just three employees. He works with two architects.
Andrew is someone that I can talk with about Jesus anytime. He counsels me and I counsel him. I don't have to worry that I am boring him because I know he loves Jesus as much as I do. Actually, he is the only one left at work that I can freely talk with like this. That's when I said that I will be in mourning over him. That is when I realized that I haven't mourned over anyone. Not Curt, not Uncle Pete, not Aunt Rita, not my Father, not my brothers, not anyone really. I've avoided all the hurts. I just put one foot in front of the other and I don't look back.
But it is affecting me. I'm having trouble thinking. Well, holding onto thoughts. Something will come into my mind and I'll think that I should do that very thing but before I can put it into action the thought will have left me - completely. In the old days, I would have been able to get it back. I can't anymore. I'm also having trouble spelling. Grammar, ha, if it wasn't for Grammarly I wouldn't be making any sense right now.
So, it could be Alzheimer's or it could be me hurting myself by stopping my cognitive processes. So, I'm going to stop relying on television and games and work and start being in silence more.
I was going to type out my pain but I won't be doing that. I don't want anyone to know. That hasn't worked out so well in the past. Plus something I've noticed is that people don't understand me. It's like I speak backward to how they think.
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